Yes, I do! May the 9th exactly five years ago, in front of family and friends, those words rang out loud and clear. We took our vows not having a clear picture of what lies ahead. But we knew we had each other to face the ‘uncertain’ certainties of the future, after eight years of dating. I get to finally document this journey and muse about it as well by writing about random things going forward, hopefully. Not one to blow my trumpet and half a decade may just be a minute part of our forever journey, I sure do understand the importance of celebrating successes and milestones as they come.
Getting married is not an achievement as they say, but I believe staying married is. Not with the divorce statistics and ‘wokeness’ around us. We had plans for today from the middle of last year 2019. First was a remake reception and renewing our vows with just close friends at a resort. Then we decided late December to go for prayers, have a photoshoot and travel to where it all began for some nostalgia. Then COVID-19 happened, we became locked indoors, working daily from home (with extra hours I must say lately) and homeschooling ‘Tiffany the first’! Ooh La Laa!
So, all the plans may have changed due to current realities, but who needs a million things to do when we have each other? Marriage has taught us so many things I may not be able to put together here at once. But I feel the need to tell some story of our journey which has had its fair share of rough patches but gets better with each passing day. I went from being a husband to become a father within nine months. Coupled with moving up the career ladder, it shook me big time! Tiffany was a game-changer in the May+Dee equation. As with everything in life, love, marriage, parenting is hard work and you must put in the time to see it blossom and grow. Let me add also companionship and sex! Oh yes, sex is fun and hard work!
The first year went fast with a damsel in the cot, the second shook us to the foundations and rebuilding started which yielded fruits in the third as things then opened up! The heavens smiled on us and from then on into the fourth year we started entering into our rest. We started to accept those seemingly annoying things we tried to change (not fundamental to our cross-cutting values). The truth is, spending time to change your spouse becomes a project which will end up not being beneficial to both parties in most cases.
I cannot believe it’s five solid years of marriage already! It still seems like yesterday, that faithful December 22, 2005, when we ‘met’ and danced all night at a party. We have dealt with coming from different homes, having different perspectives, blending our strengths, working on our weaknesses, making sacrifices for each other, disagreeing, and coming back to move US forward.
My Peaches, you are an epitome of beauty in and out, a fighter and courageous Woman! My Friend, my Woman, my Wife, and a God-sent. Just as the peach fruit (a soft, juicy and fleshy stone fruit produced by a peach tree), I continue to learn and master the soft, juicy and fleshy part of you (aka mumu-button) even when it’s the stone that is seen first. We have gone from being friends to study partners to dating to man and wife cumulatively for nearly 15 years! One will think we have learnt all that there is, but we keep evolving in a world that is vastly changing with patriarchal and feminist disagreements every now and then.
The bottom line remains that an absence of the characteristics of love (which, in my opinion, is principally a decision and not a feeling) that eschews selfishness, self-centeredness, greed, pride, boastfulness, envy, unkindness, anger, wrong-doing, and rudeness but strives towards truthfulness, trust, hope, protecting one another, persevering with each other, kindness and patience; which are in the first place central to our existence as human beings are the responsible for these disagreements. No human being should in the first place take pleasure in dominating or depriving another whether man or woman, employee or employer, teacher or student, leader or follower.
Being our fifth year, I look forward to better years as we go into a season of balance, goodness and the grace of God. Happy fifth, May the ninth, my peaches, Abisola Mabel!
Your Cream, Adeolu ‘Dee’
Pingback: Mabel and Adeolu | Perfection is a Journey